Tuesday, January 10, 2012

John, Des Moines

Dear Insanity Wolf,

I fear I've done something rash. My girlfriend and I have been dating a while, and I found out she's pregnant. We haven't had sex in a while, and I accused her of cheating. How should I fix this?

John, Des Moines



DEAR JOHN!

DO SOMETHING RASH? DO SOMETHING RASHER! RIP THAT FETUS OUT OF THE WOMB AND DEVOUR IT. IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD, IT WOULD FIGHT YOU FOR POWER, IF IT WASN'T, THAT BITCH DESERVED TO HAVE HER GUTS FISTED! DO A DANCE AND GO FUCK A POODLE.

-INSANITY WOLF

Dear Insanity Wolf

Dear Insanity Wolf,

I am new to the Internet. Any suggestions on first steps?

- Emma, Colorado City


DEAR EMMA,

ON BEHALF OF ALL OF THE INTERNET, FUCK YOU! I HAVE TRACKED YOUR IP AND I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND RAPE YOUR FAMILY WHILE YOU WATCH. THEN I WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH THEM INSIDE AND RAPE THE ASHES. I HOPE YOU LOVE THE SMELL OF FEAR, BLOOD, AND CANINE JISM.

ALSO, CHECK OUT YOUTUBE. IT'S HILARIOUS.

-INSANITY WOLF